Monday, December 7, 2009

To Scream or not to Scream...

I want my kids to know how much they are valued and one of the ways I show them how they're valued is to know what is important to them. I know Isaiah likes his pb&j with jelly only served open face. I know Liam has a hard time after nap and likes to be cuddled for awhile. I know Owen looks forward to Mommy time after his brothers are in bed. I know many of my childrens' preferences and demonstrate my grasp of that information on a daily basis. So why do they always act like I have no idea who they are!?

We all know that screaming is a part of being two (and apparently three as well) but it seems impossible to not take it personally. There are times when my kids scream and it is very easy for me to see it for what it is: a tantrum, power struggle, lack of sleep, hunger pangs, etc. But there are other times when their screaming goes straight to my soul.

Sometimes when they scream I hear it as: "you don't know what I like" or "you never remember my favorite things" or "you don't pay attention". I know that they're little. I know that they are not saying those things. I know that I'm an awesome mom ninety percent of the time. So why do I hear hurtful statements sometimes when they scream?

I'm not sure I know the full answer to that question but I think it provides me with a way to spot check myself. When I feel like my kids are telling me I'm a horrible mom, I have to take a moment, look at the situation and figure out if I am being a horrible mom. Sometimes I have to readjust my attitude because I am not modeling appropriate behavior and sometimes my kids are just being kids.

1 comment:

wendy said...

Isn't screaming a part of being BOY as well? ;D If they hate you sometimes, you are doin' it right! Layin' down those boundaries of love :)